TROTD - Chapter Twenty: My Baby

            Olivia lay in bed wearing one of Fitz’s shirts. It hung open slightly near the bottom exposing her flush abdomen. Her hand absently roamed over her womb, imagining the tiny person growing there. Her mind wandered to Fitz holding their baby, perhaps the son he always wanted, to Heather and Ellie, how would they tell them, to Megan, to their cast mates and the world at large.

            Fitz stood in the doorway watching, he thought about the baby growing inside his beloved, becoming a father again, how they would tell Heather and Ellie, how unlikely this situation seemed. His mind clogged with thoughts and worries but everything always came back to Olivia, how much he adored her, how he would do anything for her. He climbed onto the bed, placing lingering open mouthed kisses on her belly. Her fingers wandered through his curls, her body relaxing under his touch, eyes sliding closed.

“I’m scared” she whispered, her voice nearly inaudible.

“I’ll be right here no matter what” he left his hand on her abdomen as his lips moved to hers, “We are going to do what’s best for you and for our little one.”

            Olivia looked a million miles away, lost in her fears. He propped himself on his elbow, looking her in the face, “You trust me right?”

“Yes”

“And you love me?” he stuck out his bottom lip in a mock pout.

“Of course” she captured his lip between hers.

            A quake moved through her, his mouth on hers, the smell of him, how he tasted, sweet, salty, distinctively manly. All of her concerns melted with the heat of their kiss, Fitz coaxing her tongue into his mouth, soothing her doubts.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen” she said, pulling back to look into his eyes.

            Fitz smiled, his fingers tracing her dainty features, pushing a strand of hair from her forehead and placing a light kiss there, “I know”

“I don’t want you to think I was trying to make this” she gestured between them, “more than it is”

            Fitz’s face turned suddenly serious and he abruptly sat up, “Olivia Pope” his breath caught, laden with emotion, “This, what we have, is more than I ever fathomed I could have with anyone. This is the love most people only dream about.”

            His thumb wiped away a tear that slipped down her cheek as she was overcome by the bevy of emotions assailing her from all angles, the fear of the unknown, excitement about things to come, apprehension about being someone’s mother, the colossal responsibility of it all.

“Don’t cry”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked quietly, “with me, I mean.”

“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything” he assured, “Now we better get going if we are going to be on-set on time.”

            He kissed her temple then left several lingering kisses on her belly before walking to the bathroom to shower. As the water warmed his muscles he closed his eyes. He needed to be strong for Olivia but deep down he was afraid, afraid of what Ellie would say, what Megan would do, what the public would think of Olivia. He cursed himself for not divorcing Megan sooner, for not staying true to himself.

“Are we both going to fit in here when I’m big and pregnant?” her voice shook him from the depths of his thoughts.

“I think we’ll manage” he turned to hold her, “Livvie, I am so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” she asked into the wet muscles of his chest.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Megan. I’m sorry Ellie has made things so difficult, I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you to come along, I’m sorry I did this to you,” he held her against his chest, his hand running through her damp hair.

            They stood like that for minutes, the flow of water steadily rushing their fears down the drain. When they finally stepped from the shower, fingers and toes wrinkled from the water, Fitz grinned down at the stack of positive pregnancy tests in the wastebasket, “Just had to be sure?”

“I kept thinking they were wrong” she shrugged.

“All ten of them?” he couldn’t resist the urge to reach for her, the sweet smell of her pricking at his senses.

            They dressed, Fitz poured his morning coffee into a travel mug, preparing decaf tea for Olivia, who promptly turned up her nose at the offering. When they arrived at the studio they went their separate ways to prepare for their scenes. Fitz found himself not wanting to let her out of his sight, worrying when she had to fall in one of her scenes, his heart pained when she excused herself to throw up the day’s breakfast.

“Jesus Liv” Abby had followed her into the bathroom, “was it something you ate?”

“I’ll be fine” assured Olivia, rinsing her mouth at the sink and patting a damp paper towel over her cheeks and neck.

“You look awful” Abby continued as if she hadn’t heard Olivia, “You’re really pale. If I didn’t know better I’d think you were pregnant” she laughed, then getting no reaction, followed Olivia as she walked out of the bathroom in the direction of the set, “Now is when you laugh and tell me of course you aren’t pregnant.”

            Olivia kept walking, neither looking back nor uttering a word.

“Olivia” Abby was nearly yelling, “you’re not….does Mr. Perfect know? On my God….you and Mr. Gorgeous having a baby…..”

“Shh” urged Olivia, “Do not say a word. We aren’t telling people.”

            Abby dragged Olivia around a corner, speaking in a pressured hush, “Well eventually they might notice.”

“I mean we’re going to tell people” she was obviously flustered, “just not yet.”

“Oh my God…she’s going to be gorgeous….I’ll take her shopping…I’ll be Aunt Abby….she’ll be like my best friend because she’s my best friend’s baby….”

            Olivia saw no end to Abby’s ranting,  “You know it could also be a boy…” she pointed out in an attempted to halt the redhead’s runaway thoughts.

“A little boy who is the picture of Mr. Gorgeous?” Abby considered the possibility, “Perfect, a little heartbreaker, and he has probably always wanted a son. I mean what man doesn’t?”

            Olivia sighed, a weighty breath, feeling the inklings of nausea return. She was ashen, sure she would never be able to keep food down again, convinced other people would soon know their secret, afraid of the impact on her reputation and Fitz’s. She listened to Abby prattle on for several more minutes, barely comprehending, wishing she was at home, in her bed, with Fitz. When Abby finally finished her harangue the pair walked to Olivia’s trailer. Olivia pulled two bottles of water from the refrigerator, handing one to Abby and taking a large gulp of her own.

“You can’t tell anyone” Olivia’s expression was one of concern and near panic.

“Who am I going to tell?” Abby asked.

“That includes Charlie” She insisted.

            She sat on the couch, her head falling back against the cushions. She considered crying, but instead erupted into a fit of laughter. Abby regarded her from a nearby chair, “Liv?”

            Tears streamed down Olivia’s cheeks as she continued to laugh, “I can’t believe this is happening…”

“What are you going to do?” Abby asked tentatively.

            Olivia raised her head to look at Abby, “I don’t know, I honestly don’t know.”

“Well what does Fitz say? Is he happy? I mean you don’t have to have the baby. You could…”

“No” Olivia’s face was serious again, “I want this baby, Fitz wants this baby. He’s so sure everything will be okay.”

            Though their situation was far from perfect, Olivia couldn’t fathom not having the baby, the little piece of Fitz growing within her.  She had worried that Fitz would feel trapped, would think that she had gotten pregnant on purpose, that he would feel pressured to marry her, but she never considered not having their child, even if she had to raise the baby by herself. Though, she was now convinced that Fitz would never let that happen.

“So what is your plan then?” Abby wondered aloud, “You’re not going to be able to hide it forever.”

            Olivia ran her hands over her pallid face, “I know but I have no clue what we’re going to do.”

“How about you really wanted a baby so you had artificial insemination?” Abby asked, “Or you asked one of your guy friends to knock you up?”

“No and no” Olivia answered quickly.

“Well what does Fitz say?” Abby asked again.

“What do I say about what?” they turned towards the voice coming from the door.

            Abby leapt to her feet, throwing her arms around Fitz, “Congratulations Daddy” she squealed, “I can’t wait to spoil her.”

“Umm….thanks, Abby” he fumbled for an answer, looking quizzically at Olivia over Abby’s shoulder.

“I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone” Abby nearly sang grinning at Olivia before closing the door behind her.

“So Abby knows?” Fitz let go of a long held breath.

“She guessed” Olivia gave him a queasy smile, rising and rushing past him towards the bathroom.

            Fitz crouched next to her, holding her hair away from her face with one hand and stroking her back with the other, “I feel awful that you’re so sick” he kissed her hair, “but that seems to be what happens when you carry a Grant baby.”

            Olivia climbed to her feet, Fitz steadying her arm, then walked to the sink to rinse her mouth, “I’m not going to be able to hide this for long, especially being so sick.”

“So what’s our plan?” the half grin he offered caused a stirring deep in her belly, “do we tell the world about us….and Baby Grant?”

“Not yet” she rested her palm against his cheek, warmth again radiating to her core, “Right now I want to sit with you,” she led him to the couch, pulling him down next to her, “I just need a few minutes with you” she tucked her head into his shoulder, her lips grazing the skin of his neck just above his collar.

            Fitz gathered her legs to drape across his, allowing his fingers to tempt the skin above her ankles, “Livvie?” he muttered into her hair.

“Hmm?” her eyes were closed as the stress of the last few days began to weigh heavily upon her.

“Thank you” he whispered, his hands playing in her silky curls.

            She sat up, her hand finding his cheek again, her lips just inches from his, “For what?”

“For being you and loving me” he whispered, “For showing me what it means to really love someone” he kissed her lips lightly, “For the most amazing gift you could ever give me” his large hand rested over her belly.

            Olivia pressed her mouth to his, hoping to quell the heat that rose in her belly. Fitz groaned before urging his tongue into her mouth, pressing her back against the cushions of the couch, his arousal tightening his pants. He ran his hands beneath her shirt, enjoying her flesh beneath his hands. Olivia found the waist of his pants sliding her palm along the ridges of his abdomen and into his boxer shorts, stroking him gently. She felt his muscles tense at the contact, his tongue venturing deeper into her mouth, hands fisting in her hair.

            She trailed kisses along his chiseled jaw, capturing his earlobe between her plump lips, “I love you” she breathed causing goose bumps to form along his neck, “Your smell” she nuzzled his neck, “Your strong arms” she squeezed his upper arm, “The way you hold me” she looked at him hungrily, stroking him faster and faster.

            Fitz clutched her wrist, bringing her hand above her head, tangling their fingers as he rejoined their mouths. She squirmed beneath him, moisture pooling between her thighs, yearning to find her release.

“Fitz” it was a whispered plea, “please”

“You’re so hot Livvie” his breath tickled her neck, “so soft, perfect” their eyes met, “You’re gonna be the death of me”

            A giggle escaped her lips, “Fitz”

            He held her gaze, his eyes growing a stormy grey, “In the best way you’ll be the death of me” then they were lost in another powerful kiss, not parting until he knew they needed to be back on-set.

X-X

“Liv, where are your other placemats?” Heather called from the dining room.

            Olivia returned the lid to the steaming pot she had just stirred then made her way to the dining room, “They should be in here” she opened the middle drawer of the hutch.

“Thanks” Heather smiled, “This must be some big announcement you and Pops want to make if we’re eating in here.”

            Olivia smiled but didn’t reply, busying herself moving glasses and plates to their “perfect” spots.

“I don’t see a ring so you’re not getting married” Heather urged.

“Patience, Sweetheart” Fitz’s voice allowed Olivia to take a deep breath, “Don’t badger Livvie.”

            He patted Heather’s shoulder then leaned in to kiss Olivia chastely on the lips, “Where is Ellie?”

“In her bedroom reading I think” Heather answered, “You know she’s allergic to any sort of work.”

            Olivia couldn’t hold in the nervous chuckle lurking just below the surface. Fitz bent to kiss her again, this time briefly tasting her lips with his tongue.

“I’m going to go check on dinner” Heather said, a little louder than necessary.

            Both Fitz and Olivia pulled back, their foreheads touching. She looked at his lips, unconsciously licking hers, he was gorgeous.

“Are you sure you want to do this tonight?” she asked nervously, “Because if you want to wait I understand”

            Her speech was pressured, evidence of her anxiety.

“I want to” he reassured, “We need to”

            She nodded then slid out of his embrace, their hands the last part of them to lose contact before she walked back to the kitchen. She and Heather finished cooking, Fitz watching television on the couch and Ellie reading in her bedroom.

“Smells delicious” he smiled in Olivia’s direction, absently licking his lips as they sat down to eat.

            A blush stained her cheeks while she concentrated on the food in front of her.

“So what’s this big news?” Ellie asked, her best spoiled teenager persona firmly in place.

            Olivia quietly placed her fork on her plate then looked to Fitz intently. He cleared his throat, suddenly feeling like a teenager, “Girls, Liv and I….” sweat formed thick on his brow, “Olivia and I are”

“Spit it out” Ellie rolled her eyes.

“We’re expecting” Fitz finished, his eyes trained on Ellie, waiting for her reaction.

            Color rushed to Ellie’s cheeks and Olivia watched her face go through a range of reactions, finally settling on something that appeared to be a mix of shock and anger.

“What the fuck, Dad?!?” she yelled.

“Watch your language” Fitz said through gritted teeth.

            Ellie pushed herself away from the table, “I can’t fucking believe this” she continued, then turned to look at Olivia, “Why are you ruining my life? He doesn’t even love you. He loves my mother.”

            Her words hit Olivia hard, tears threatening to fall, and she excused herself from the table, walking towards the stairs.

“And you” Ellie turned her anger towards Fitz as he watched Olivia, “Why can’t you be a normal dad? Why do you have to be going through this mid-life crisis or whatever? Why can’t you keep it in your pants? That is so disgusting”

            With that she stormed to her room, slamming the door. Heather watched the struggle of the situation register on her father’s face. He needed to talk to Ellie but he wanted to go to Olivia.

“Go make sure Liv is okay” nodded Heather, “I’ll go make sure Ellie is okay.”

            Fitz climbed the stairs two at a time, walking into the bedroom, finding Olivia hunched over the toilet in the en suite.  He knelt next to her and drew her against him after she had finished throwing up the little food she had eaten. She sobbed huge wrenching sobs against his shirt, soaking the fabric.

“Don’t cry” he whispered, “She’ll get used to the idea”

“I just love you and…..” the ring of his phone interrupted her thought and he hastily answered, “What?”

“So your precious Olivia is pregnant?” Fitz felt panic, a sharp chill ran through him as he pulled Olivia tighter against him.