Sunday, October 19, 2014

TROTD - Chapter Nineteen: My Business

Are Olivia Pope and Fitzgerald Grant More Than Just Co-Stars?

The Real Drama Between Olivia Pope and Fitz Grant

Costars Looking Extra Cozy at Recent Appearances

            Olivia sat reading the headlines on several gossip sites. Her breathing quickened as a heaviness settled in her chest. Suddenly there wasn’t enough air and the light sheet covering her legs felt like a lead apron. She wondered if their time in the snow globe was about to come to an end.

“Fitz” she laid her hand on his bare shoulder, “Fitz, wake up”

            He groaned and turned his head to face her, “What is it Livvie? Are you okay?” the trepidation in her voice concerned him.

“Read this” she pushed her phone in front of his rapidly blinking eyes.

            Fitz leaned up on an elbow, taking the phone and trying to focus on its screen.

“Nobody pays attention to these things” he assured, kissing the bend of her neck, then burying his face back into his pillow again.

“They have pictures of us, from our interviews, and we do look like…”

            Realizing that she was more than just mildly upset, Fitz rolled back to face her.

“This will blow over” he ran his hand over her back, “No one will believe the gossip rags”

            She looked at him with an expression that showed she was less than convinced. Fitz took the phone and placed it on the nightstand, then rested back against the headboard, gathering her closer to him.

“What if people start asking questions?” she fixed her attention on a single spot on the far wall, “What if they pose the right questions to the right people?”

            Fitz took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers. He didn’t speak at first, instead listening, to the rain hitting the windowpane, to the sound of her breathing, to the beatingo the beat of his own heart loud  to the rain hitting the windowpane, to teh ring her closer to him.
 the snowglobe was about of his own heart loud in his ears. He wanted to swear to her that they were safe, that their little bubble was impenetrable, but he knew that would be a lie.

“So they find out” he tried to sound self-assured, “Who cares?”

“I care” she was nearly shouting, “My parents care, your family cares, the network cares”

“Then we spin it” he seemed to her to have all the answers as he pulled her closer, “If you don’t want people to know we’re together we get the best people on this and we come up with a story, with a plan.”
           
            He tried to keep the frustration out of his voice. Was she trying to protect their relationship and their privacy or was she uncertain about wanting to be with him? Was this just fun? Was she just using him for his name? He hated the thought but her anxiety didn’t seem to make sense otherwise, both were single, though most of Hollywood probably thought he was still with Megan.

“Who do we call?” her words were a welcome interruption to the thoughts running through his mind.

“Tasha Martin, I guess” the crisis manager was considered the best in the business and, he knew, could be trusted with the darkest of deep dark secrets.

“And she can fix it?” Olivia’s voice cracked as she fought back tears.

“She can try” he whispered between kisses to her temple.

            The sun was just peeking above the horizon, the orange glow from the window causing her skin to glow golden amber. Fitz thought of the events of the past months, meeting Olivia, falling in love with her, telling his daughters about her, changing his entire life to be with her.
           
            He looked down at her bare back flush against his side. He loved her, he was absolutely sure of that, but could they make it?  Was that what she wanted? Would their relationship becoming public knowledge mean the end of them?

“Livvie, I need to ask you something” his voice sounded foreign leaving his chest.

“Hmm?” she kept her eyes closed and barely turned her head towards him.

            Fitz straightened himself against the headboard. He closed his eyes, taking two deep breaths through his nose, bracing himself to hear the truth.

“Do you really want to be with me?” it was barely a whisper but she stiffened, she heard him.

            Her warm body slid from his grasp and she gathered the sheet around her petite frame. She put several feet between them before speaking.

“Why so you ask that?” tears brimmed in her chocolate eyes.

“You’re so concerned about someone finding out…”

“And you were too the last time I checked” now she looked angry. He reached to touch her arm but she quickly pulled it away.

“Liv…”

“How can you ask me that?” her face was twisted into a mixture of pain, shock, and anger, “How, after everything we’ve been through, can you ask me if I really want to be with you?”

            She climbed from the bed, hastily getting dressed. Tears now streamed down her cheeks. He pulled on his boxer shorts and tentatively crossed to her. Her arms were like steel rods beneath his hands.

“Maybe you’re right. I think we need to take some time to figure out if this is really what we want” she didn’t mean it but she never considered that Fitz was unsure.

“I never said that” his voice was defensive, “I asked you if you wanted to be with me. If you want to be together I don’t understand why you care what some gossip site says.”

            She finished dressing and set off in search of her purse, Fitz trailing close behind.

“I care because people pay attention to what I’m doing. I’m not a big name in Hollywood. I’m not the playboy movie star who lowered himself to work in television. I’m not the trust fund brat with a team of lawyers at my disposal whose sole purpose is to protect my name…”

“No, that’s me right?” her words felt like an icepick cutting to his very soul. He thought she saw him as more than the spoiled rich kid who found success in the family business. His shoulders slumped when he released her arms. He reached into the refrigerator for a bottle of water, roughly removing the cap before taking a long drink, “After all I’ve given up, after all of the chances I’ve taken” it was her turn to look wounded, “I have put you before every other person in my life.”

            A wave of fear washed over him as he looked at her, purse in hand. The past several months had been some of the best of his life. He wanted to believe that she would get past her fears of their relationship being exposed, he wanted to believe that the love he felt for her could get them through anything. But for the first time since he first kissed her perfect lips he wasn’t sure. He didn’t want her to leave but he couldn’t make her stay. She had to make that choice, but he needed her to know how he felt and what she meant to him.

“You know I love you, right?” Fitz rested his palms on her hipbones.

“I love you” she whispered, her forehead leaning against his sturdy chest.

“I’m okay if you want to slow things down a bit” he hoped his uncertainty didn’t show on his face, “to figure things out.”

“I appreciate that” her voice a ghost of what it normally was. She gripped her purse tighter in her hands. The feeling of his hands on her made her mind swim but she felt she was doing the right thing and she needed to stay strong.  She thought about Harrison’s face the night before, a knowing glance that barely shrouded the belief that she only had her job because of Fitz.
           
            Fitz gave her a final chaste kiss on her cheek before walking her to her car and watching her drive away. He prayed she would come back to him.

X-X

            Fitz sat on the sofa, feet propped on the coffee table. The television was on but he was paying little attention. He ran his fingers through his hair then checked his phone. She still hadn’t called or texted. He scrolled through his contacts then, finding the number he wanted, pressed SEND.

“Hi Dad” enthused Heather.

“Hi Sweetie” his voice was melancholy.

“What’s wrong?” Heather knew immediately that something was bothering him.

“I just called to check on you” he tried to sound nonchalant but his voice cracked just slightly.

“Are you okay, Dad?” Heather was beginning to panic, “Did something happen to Ellie? Is Liv okay?”

            He took a deep breath, he needed to talk to someone about what was going on.

“Liv and I” he began, feeling tears sting his eyes, “We, well she” he wasn’t even sure himself what had happened between them. Had they broken up? Were they taking a break? When would she come back? Would she be back at all?

“Did Ellie do something to Olivia?”

“No, I did” the words were barely out before tears ran full bore down his face. He tried to continue but his words were merely sobs.

“I’m coming over” Heather insisted. Fitz heard her rummaging for her keys then the sound of her car ignition, “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”  With that she hung up and he was alone again, left to endure deep, heaving sobs. For a fleeting moment he considered what Charlie or Harrison would think if they saw him, then it didn’t matter. He didn’t care who saw him cry for Olivia, he wanted to tell the entire world how much he loved her, until then he would spend every day showing her what she meant to him.

X-X

            Olivia sighed as she walked through her front door. Her body felt heavy with fatigue, weary muscles struggling to carry her body to the couch. Her head fell back against the cushions, eyelids sliding closed. Her body relaxed somewhat but her mind continued to race. She thought of her fears and the words she had said to Fitz. The look on his face, the fear in his voice, how shocked he’d been when she suggested they take a break. A wave of nausea washed over her and she rushed to the powder room, sliding to her knees in front of the toilet.

            Tears slipped silently down her cheeks as she wretched. Her stomach rolled and roiled even after the contents of her stomach were long gone. She rubbed a cool washcloth over her tear streaked face then walked to the kitchen for a bottle of water.

            The cool liquid helped tame the burning in her throat as she slumped onto the couch. Her thoughts returned to Fitz. There were so many reasons they should be apart but the reasons that mattered were reasons they should be together. She hated to admit the she was wrong and scared. She prided herself on being a strong woman, on not needing anyone else to make her happy or make her whole but Fitz was her Achilles heel, her greatest weakness, her most devastating desire.

X-X

            Heather let herself in with her key, draping her coat over the back of a chair before searching for her father. The house was dimly lit, the television was tuned to an entertainment show, the volume turned down, but Fitz stared blankly at Olivia’s face. He took a long slug of his beer, his eyes never leaving the dark haired beauty’s on the screen.

“Dad, are you alright?” Heather’s voice was calm and soothing as she came to sit next to him, “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.”

“She wants to take a break” he murmured, his eyes still not leaving the television, “She thinks I’m spoiled and entitled.”

            He hung his head, willing the tears not to return. His conversation with Olivia ran on a loop through his mind. She was a part of him, an unshakeable, permanent part of him, and he needed to find a way to ease her fears and bring her back to him.

“She loves you” Heather leaned her head on Fitz’s shoulder, “and you love her.”

“Desperately” Fitz admitted.

“Then go to her house and tell her all of that”

X-X

            Night had fallen and Olivia had managed to change into her silk pajamas. She sat absently flipping through the guide on the television, no interest in anything she saw listed until she came upon a documentary about the Grant family. She watched as the narrator spoke about Fitz’s father and grandfather, smiling when she heard them talk of their love of old movies and the golden age of Hollywood. Setting down the remote she pulled the plush throw from the back of the couch and drew it around her. Her eyes weren’t on the television when Fitz’s face first came on-screen but the sound of his voice drew her attention.

            Her breathing increased as he spoke about his childhood, how normal his parents tried to make it, how much they tried to keep their children protected from the spotlight. She found herself leaning towards the television as she listened to him speak. She watched his lips move, an unmistakable stirring deep within her. What she wouldn’t give to kiss those lips. Feeling sick all day had made her miss him that much more. She wanted to lay in his arms, feel his warm skin on hers as his hands rubbed her back. She frowned slightly when she saw her teacup was empty and rose to go make herself another cup.

            She had just put the kettle on the stove when she heard the doorbell. She considered pretending no one was home but when it rang a second time she knew whoever it was would not relent.

“Hi” his smile brought out her own as soon as she saw him, “I need to talk to you. I need to explain.”

            She pulled him into the house and closed the door behind him before burying her face in his chest.

“Livvie, are you okay?” his hands instinctively rubbed her back, just like she knew they would, just like she craved.

            Her eyes rose to meet his and she took his hand, leading him into the living room. She sat on the couch and settled into his embrace when he joined her there.

“I have something I need to tell you” she whispered against the hollow of his neck.

“I have some things to tell you too” he cleared his throat, “but first I have to know why you’re watching my family’s life story on television”

            She pulled back to allow her to look into his eyes, a smile warming her entire face, “Because I missed you.”

“I missed you too” he heard his voice crack, betraying his need for her.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” she asked, taking his hands.

“I know you’re scared Liv but we can’t let our fear of what might happen ruin what we have” he took a deep breath, “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And I know that if we are in this together we can get through anything that comes our way. The press, our co-stars, the public, ex-wives, families…..”

“A baby” she interjected quietly.

“Right a ba….” She watched his face change, his eyes immediately growing moist, “What did you say?”

“A baby” she repeated, her palms sweaty.

“You’re….”

“Pregnant….” She finally said the word, the word she hadn’t allowed herself to utter until that point, “well, I’m not sure but I got a test. Actually five tests. I want to be sure….”

            He watched as her mind raced from thought to thought, the word playing over again and again. He had come to beg for her forgiveness, to understand why she was so afraid, to make her understand he would never leave her. He thought he had the entire situation worked out but never in a million years did he imagine that Olivia would get pregnant.

            She looked at him expectantly, hoping she hadn’t scared him too much, hoping he wouldn’t leave.

“Say something” she prodded, her palm finding his cheek.

            Fitz gathered her into his arms, pulling the throw over them, holding her flush against his body. His hand touched her still flat belly tentatively, imagining the life that might be growing there, “You’re having my baby?”

            Olivia nodded but didn’t speak.

“I love you and you’re having my baby. I’m going to be a father again. You’re having my baby, Livvie” tears filled his eyes.

“You’re not upset?”

“I’m overjoyed” he kissed her forehead, “I love you and I’ve never been happier.”

“I’m scared”

“We can get through this together” he assured her, unable to resist touching her stomach again, “I’ll protect you….and our baby. I swear.”

“This is going to be complicated” she spoke into his shirt.

“We can do it” his fingers trailed along her spine.

“I’m going to get fat” she chuckled, moving her head to rest against the side of his neck.

“You’re going to be so beautiful” he assured.

“We should call Tasha Martin” her hands slid beneath his shirt and ventured over the terrain of his sculpted abdomen.

“In the morning” his voice grew husky from her touch, “tonight I want to make love to the woman who is carrying my child.”


            Fitz stood and scooped her into his arms, “It’s going to be alright Livvie, I promise. We’re going to make this work together.”

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