TROTD - Chapter Fourteen: I Just Don't Know What to Say

            Fitz sat on the couch sipping his wine and watching Olivia. She moved around the room with such ease and grace, greeting everyone at the party warmly and focusing on them as though they were the only people in the room. He would catch her stealing glances at him every few minutes. It was astounding how a simple look could produce such a reaction in him. He shifted in his seat and tried to change his focus.

            Olivia mingled with the party guests never letting her attention wander far from Fitz. It made her smile to see him talking so easily with her family.

“Fitz, let me introduce you around” Victoria said sweetly, “There are plenty of ladies here that are dying to meet you.”

            Fitz blushed, rising from the couch and following Victoria into the kitchen where a group of women stood giggling like schoolgirls. Olivia blew him a kiss when he passed by only increasing the color in his cheeks.

“Ladies, I wanted you to meet…” Victoria began.

“Fitz Grant” one of the women interrupted, “You are even more handsome in person.”

            The other women only cackled louder at the comment. “You’re too kind, it’s nice to meet you ladies” Fitz smiled his dashing public smile.

“How is it that we’re lucky enough to have you at the party?” a second woman asked.

“Olivia invited me. I’m in the new TV show she is starring in” he smiled.

“Don’t let him fool you, he’s definitely my co-star” Olivia stepped to Fitz’s side, “The show wouldn’t work without him.”

            He felt her hand touch his bicep and felt a stirring in his pants. It didn’t matter where they were or how she was touching him, contact with her always brought the same reaction. Every time he thought his feelings for her couldn’t become any stronger she smiled a certain way or laughed with Heather or Ellie and his love deepened. He found himself staring at her as she stood by his side not really hearing anything but the sound of her breathing and the click of her shoes when she shifted from one foot to the other. He must have missed something one of the women said because he felt Olivia pinch his arm lightly.

“I’m sorry?” he said, refocusing his attention on the conversation.

“Victoria tells us you opened a restaurant” the woman repeated.

“Yes, we had our opening a few weeks ago” Fitz explained, “Business seems to be good so far.”

“It’s gotten fantastic write-ups from all the critics” Olivia added sweetly, “They have a superb wine list and the food is excellent.”

“You don’t need to sell us, Honey” Olivia’s Aunt Callie smiled, “If Fitz Grant owns it you know we’re going to come up with an excuse to have one of our girls nights there.”

           

            Fitz found himself blushing again, “Let me know when you ladies want to come and I’ll be sure you get the VIP treatment.” Olivia noticed that certain smile return to his lips. She liked that he had a special smile that he reserved for her. It made it easier to watch women, even her relatives and parents’ friends, fawn over him. She felt she would never get used to the attention Fitz attracted but, if she had to admit it to herself, it was a bit of a turn on too. She knew he only had eyes for her and she hoped he knew the same was true for her. She rarely even noticed other men these days. Every fiber of her being was focused on Fitz.

X-X

            The party was winding down, Olivia sat on the couch next to Fitz his arm occasionally venturing around her shoulder then returning to his lap. He felt unsure about how close he should be to her and how he should touch her. They had discussed keeping their relationship quiet when they were first together but he wasn’t sure if his impending divorce changed things for her. Honestly, as difficult as it would be to keep their relationship a secret it would be easier the longer they did.  He had watched his friends be lambasted by the media over romantic entanglements and he refused to allow Olivia to be subjected to such scrutiny.

“Check it out” he felt Olivia’s hand move over his forearm. He followed her gaze and saw Ellie sitting close to a young man on the loveseat across the room. Fitz began to stand but Olivia caught his hand, “Sit” she smiled at him when he repositioned himself next to her, continuing to watch Ellie, “She’s fine.”

“Livvie, who is that?”

“He’s harmless, his dad works with mine” she patted his leg, allowing her hand to linger on his thigh.

“How well do you know him?” Fitz continued the inquisition. He didn’t like thinking of his daughters talking to boys let alone dating, “How old is he?”

“He’s thirty-five and divorced, his wife left him after he went to prison” Olivia laughed. Fitz grasped her side, eliciting a loud giggle.

“That’s not nice, Livvie” he whispered close to her ear, “I’m concerned about my daughter and the older guy who seems to be putting the moves on her.”

“Putting the moves on her?” Olivia laughed again, “Are you sixty?”

“You keep making fun of me but you’ll understand when you have kids someday”

“What makes you think I want kids?” She gave him a coy look.

“I just figured….” He was flustered, “You know you’re….and I didn’t mean…”

            Fitz suddenly felt warm and his cheeks flushed. Olivia was one of the few people who could easily fluster him. She seemed to enjoy the fact that she could make him trip over his words with very little effort.

“Fitz” she slid her hand into his, “Relax.”

            He grinned, regaining his composure, “So how old is that guy really?” he gestured towards Ellie again.

“He’s twenty or twenty-one” she squeezed his hand, “He’s a nice kid and they’re just talking.”

“Livvie, you and I both know where talking leads” his overprotective father routine was sweet, “Look where it’s led us.”

“The big difference is that he’s a nice guy” she eyed him and smirked, “Not some player looking to put another notch in his bedpost.”

“Olivia Pope, you’re asking for big trouble tonight” his breath on her neck caused her to swallow hard and her mind moved to their encounter in the bathroom. She loved when it felt like he couldn’t keep his hands off her.

“Liv” her daydream was interrupted she turned towards the sound of Heather’s voice, “Is there anymore wine?”

“Sure, let’s go find some” Olivia rose from the couch and led Heather to the basement where her parents kept the wine. Heather was a pretty girl, Olivia thought as they searched through the bottles. Both she and Ellie bore a strong resemblance to Fitz, blue eyes, tall, long legs, and disarming smiles. Heather, however, had her mother’s blond hair while Ellie’s hair was a striking auburn.

“I’m really glad my Dad found you” Heather said looking closely at a bottle she had pulled from the wine rack, “He’s happier.”

“I’m really sorry about the way things happened” Olivia felt like she needed to be honest with Heather and Ellie if they were to ever have any sort of meaningful relationship.

“I’m glad he’s happy” Heather replaced the bottle she was holding and pulled out another, “I want my Mom to be happy too but what they had didn’t make either one of them happy.”

“We didn’t mean to hurt anyone” Olivia’s voice was a whisper, “I hope your Mom can be happy too.”

“Ellie will come around,” Heather decided on a bottle and they walked in the direction of the steps, “It’s so new to her and she’s always been closer to Mom than Dad.”

“I’m not going to push things” Olivia appreciated that Heather was willing to discuss things with her, “I just want you and Ellie to know that I care a lot about your Dad. This isn’t some crazy Hollywood fling.”

“I’ve heard him talk to you and about you” they reached the kitchen and Olivia took the bottle to open it, “I know it’s not a fling to him either.” Both women looked in Fitz’s direction. He sat comfortably on the couch talking to one of the few remaining guests. He caught them looking in his direction. He smiled and gave a little wave. His girls, talking together as if they had known one another for years. He watched Olivia pour them each a glass of wine and they continued to laugh. When he turned his attention back to the love seat where Ellie had been sitting, she and the young man were gone.  Fitz slowly moved to stand wondering where Ellie had gone.

“Your parents’ house is really beautiful” Heather took another drink of her wine, “Is this where you grew up?”

“Yeah, this is my childhood” Olivia laughed, “So many crazy things I did in this house.”

“Were you a wild child?” Heather laughed along with her, “Somehow I don’t picture it. I would have pegged you as the straight A student, student council president type.”

“Like you?”

“Oh no way” Heather nearly spit out her wine she laughed so hard, “Ask my dad, I think I aged my parents terribly. I was constantly in trouble for something. Probably why he doesn’t trust Ellie.”

“He wants to take care of everyone” Olivia thought back to the night he held her in the emergency room and how supportive he was. She felt herself start to tear up and needed to change the subject, “Would you like to see the rest of the house?”

“I’d love to” Heather followed behind Olivia as they moved from room to room. They walked through the dining room towards the formal living room.

“Ellie” Heather and Olivia came to an abrupt stop at the sight of Ellie and the young man kissing on the couch.

“Josh” Olivia nearly dragged the boy from the couch, “What are you doing?”

“We were just….” Josh stammered wiping his lips and straightening his shirt.

“I’m well aware of what you were doing” Olivia admonished, “What I want to know is what were you thinking? No, never mind, I know what you were thinking. She’s eighteen.”

“You’re not going to tell Dad are you?” Ellie looked mortified, “He still thinks I’m his little girl.”

“Tell me what?” God he had the worst timing sometimes, Olivia thought.

“Nothing,” Olivia and Heather quickly answered at the same time then Olivia continued, “Josh and Ellie were just saying their goodbyes. I think your family is getting ready to leave, Josh.”

            The young man took the hint and extricated himself from the situation. Fitz looked from an embarrassed looking Ellie to a guilty looking Heather then to Olivia whose expression he couldn’t quite read.

“What’s going on?”

“Why don’t you girls see if you can help my mom clean up” Olivia suggested then turned to Fitz, “Nothing is going on.”

“Livvie” it was clear he didn’t believe her, “What are the three of you hiding?”

“Just promise you won’t be upset” she slid her fingers between his.

“Livvie you’re scaring me”

“It’s silly, really. I was giving Heather a tour of the house and…” she swallowed and braced herself for the impact of the news, “We saw Josh and Ellie kissing on the couch. I handled it, told them it wasn’t appropriate.”

            She felt his hand tighten around hers then relax, “He kissed her?”

“From what I could tell it was mutual”

“They just met, they barely know each other”

“Fitz, she’s not twelve and it was just a kiss” Olivia rolled her eyes, “You need to let her live.”

“Making out on the couch Livvie?” he met her eyes, “It just seems so…”

“Like something you and I do all the time?” she gave him the smile that melted his heart.

“Totally different. You and I are adults. We make out on our own couches in our own houses that we pay for,” he argued, “I’m not making out with you on your parents’ couch.”

“Only in their powder room…”

            Her comment stopped his argument as his mind turned back to several hours before when he had Olivia pressed up against the wall, “That’s not the point Livvie.”

“In other words, I win…” she smirked in triumph. Fitz slipped his arms around her waist and pressed his lips to her temple. She closed her eyes, enjoying his touch and the warmth of his breath.

“You know you never gave me a tour of the house” he whispered into her hair.

“How rude of me” she took his hand again and led him quietly up the stairs. She pointed to a closed door, “That is my parents’ room” then the next door, “bathroom”, the next, “laundry”, and finally stopped in front of a door at the end of the hallway, “and this” she opened the door slowly, “Is my room.”

            Fitz stepped inside and looked around, “Look at all of these books” he said gesturing towards the two large bookcases against the far wall. The room was a painted a light mauve with dark furniture and light bedding and window coverings. It looked like a miniature version of her house; clearly her taste for decorating had started at a young age. “I like it.”

            She moved close to him and slid her arm around his waist, “I’m so glad you and the girls could come tonight” she glanced down at her watch, “You know it’s almost Christmas day.”

“I better get you home or Santa won’t come” Fitz kissed behind her ear. Her breath caught at the sensation.

“I’ll meet you back at your place?” she whispered, “or would you rather just see each other tomorrow?” Olivia still felt unsure about Christmas with Fitz and his daughters.  Ellie had been staying with Heather at her condo but they had decided to spend the night at Fitz’s house to enjoy Christmas morning as a family. Olivia knew she wasn’t really family and didn’t want to encroach on their celebration. She could stay with her parents or go home and begin preparing for their dinner the next day.

“No, you’re coming home with me” he insisted allowing his lips to trail along her jaw, “You’re going to spend the night in my bed” his thumb ran along the seam of her lips, “and wake up with me on Christmas morning” his lips lightly touched hers, “We’re going to snuggle on the couch in our pajamas, enjoy the fire while we open gifts and spend time together as a family.”

“But” she protested quietly against his lips.

“No buts Livvie” he took her top lip then her bottom lip between his teeth, “I want us all together.”

           

            She couldn’t resist his teasing kisses and pressed her mouth harder against his, “I just don’t want to intrude” she said taking a breath before returning her lips to his. He moved them closer to the bed and brought his hands to her hair. She felt the soft mattress behind her legs and pulled him down onto the bed. Her hands gripped his triceps then his shoulders. Even a few hours in his presence without touching him was near torture.

“Livvie, you are part of my life and Ellie and Heather need to understand that” Fitz held her face between his palms and looked deeply into her eyes as she lay against the mattress, “I want to spend Christmas with the people I love….all of them.”

            Tears welled in her eyes; she would never tire of hearing him tell her that he loved her. A smolder rose to his eyes, like the inky hue of a stormy sky. He licked his lips and she unconsciously bit her lower lip.

“You know that makes me crazy when you do that” his voice was full of hunger and his lips just inches from hers, “That’s my job.”  He sucked her lower lip lightly into his mouth, then pulled his teeth lightly over it before teasing her with his tongue.  She sighed at the pleasure his lips caused and pressed her thighs together in an attempt to quell the heat rising there. His hand came to rest in the curls at the back of her head holding her mouth against his. This was one of those moments he never wanted to end.  He let his left hand roam along her abdomen and beneath her sweater. The mocha satin of her skin ran hot beneath his hand and he wanted to touch all of her at once.  Fitz wanted to take his time savoring her body but he needed to feel her skin against his.

“Fitz we need to stop” she mumbled while his lips wandered over her neck, “Everyone is downstairs.”

“We’ll be fast” his hands found her breasts beneath her bra.

“Not a goal we should be striving for” she giggled, sitting up, “Come on, we can continue this later.”

“You’ve been teasing me all night Livvie” he bemoaned, “I don’t know how much longer I can wait without this hot body against me” he pulled her down onto him.

“Well you’re going to have to wait at least a little while longer” she kissed his lips lightly and stood.

            Olivia followed Fitz back downstairs.

“Mom, can we help you clean up?” Olivia asked beginning to gather plates and carrying them to where her mother stood by the sink.

“I think I have it under control. Heather and Ellie were a huge help” Victoria smiled at the two young girls then whispered, “Are these down feathers in your hair Olivia?”

            She felt her cheeks burn and suddenly she was the sixteen year old caught kissing her boyfriend.  She glanced at Heather and Ellie hoping they hadn’t heard then to Fitz who was busy talking with her father. “Mom” she began, “I swear…”

“You’re a grown woman, Olivia” her mother squeezed her arm, “I’m realistic. Just remember he has daughters.”

            Olivia rolled her eyes, “I think that’s our cue to leave” she said loud enough for everyone to hear. Fitz looked in her direction, reading the implication in her eyes. He gathered their coats, helping first Ellie, then Heather, and finally Olivia into their coats before pulling his over his strong shoulders. He continued watching Olivia unsure what was bothering her. She didn’t meet his eyes rather busied herself collecting her purse and fussing with a non-existent string on her coat. He was relieved when she let him take her hand and lead her to the car. He opened the back door of the SUV for Heather and Ellie then the front door for Olivia, closing them before climbing behind the wheel.

“Did you girls have a good time?” he asked moving his hand to Olivia’s thigh.

“It was really fun, thanks for inviting us Olivia” Ellie replied her eyes fixing on her father’s hand on another woman’s leg.

“Of course you thought it was fun, El” Heather teasingly elbowed her sister, “Did you get his number?”

            Fitz glanced in the rearview mirror as they waited at a red light. Ellie was blushing and whispering with her sister. She looked happy. He wasn’t thrilled that it was a guy that made her feel this way but it was fantastic to see her smile. Heather and Ellie weren’t afforded much time together and it seemed the last week living under the same roof had brought them closer.

“The party was great Livvie” he ran his hand along her leg, “I really appreciate you inviting all of us.”

“My Mom loved the girls” Olivia smiled, “And all the ladies loved you.”

“Too bad I’m taken” his fingers ran from behind her ear along her jaw to her lips, “and I’m a one woman man.”

            She blithely kissed his fingers and took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together and squeezing gently. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re too good to be true” she looked at their hands, “You are an actor after all.”

“So are you. Are you acting?” he moved his fingers back and forth between hers, “Only a few people get to see the real me.”

“You’ve seen the real me” she replied looking into his face as it glowed in the flash of passing headlights. Even in this lighting he was perfect. His chiseled jaw, soft lips, ravaging eyes. “The good, the bad, the ugly. You’ve seen me completely broken.”

            He hated when she talked about it. He knew it would never go away but seeing the pain it still brought her broke his heart. There would always be a part of her she couldn’t get back and always a part of him that would be wrecked for her.

“Can I do anything?” his voice was quiet, barely a whisper.

“You being here is enough” she responded, “I didn’t mean to bring down the mood.”

“I’ll listen whenever you want to talk about it”

“Thank you for everything” she whispered, “You really are a good guy.”

“I love you Olivia” he replied.

“It’s scary as hell but I love you too” he kissed her palm and they rode the rest of the way to his house in silence.

            Ellie and Heather chitchatted in the backseat Ellie never letting her eyes leave the interaction between Olivia and Fitz. She felt so torn, she would probably like Olivia if she didn’t feel like she was the reason her parents split up. Her life had been so easy before Olivia came along. Her parents weren’t together but they were both happy in their own way. Their family had found a way to be their own version of normal, until Olivia. She knew her father and why he wanted to be with Olivia. She was young and pretty and probably willing to sleep her way to fame. She wanted to be like Heather and accept Olivia but she couldn’t, she loved her mother too much and she would never forget the hurt in her mother’s eyes when Fitz chose Olivia. She refused to smile and stand by while her father made a terrible mistake. There had to be some way to get her father to see the error of his ways and to bring her parents back together.