TROTD - Chapter Sixteen: Distance

“I wish you’d stay” he watched her put her coat on.

“You need time with the girls” she smiled and kissed him sweetly on the lips, “I need to go cook Christmas dinner for my parents. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Can’t I see you tonight?” he held her to him.

“Take a few days with the girls” she moved away from him, “I left gifts for them under the tree. If you don’t mind I’d like to give you yours the next time I see you.”

“Olivia” he followed her out the door, “I drove you last night.”

“I called a car” she didn’t look back.

“Please don’t run away from me again” she recognized the tone and knew what she would see in his face when she turned around, he was afraid. She took a deep breath. She was afraid too. She had allowed herself to get so wrapped up in Fitz that she felt as though she was losing sight of what she needed to focus on. He seemed to be caught up as well. She knew he needed time alone with Heather and Ellie. She turned back to look at him.

“I’m not running. I’m giving you time with your daughters.”

“What about what you said to Ellie at breakfast?” he begged.

“I meant what I said but she needs you right now” explained Olivia.

“She’ll get used to this” he insisted, “Don’t let her be the reason you leave.”

“She’s hurt Fitz” she moved closer to him again, “You need to help both Ellie and Heather work through how they feel about the divorce and about you and me. I’ll still be here.”

“So you’re just going to leave me here alone?”

“My Mom said something to me last night and I think it just sunk in” she spoke as if she hadn’t heard him, “She said ‘remember he has daughters’”

“I had daughters yesterday and last week and the week before” Fitz maintained, “What has changed?”

“You need to make sure they’re going to be okay. They are your flesh and blood. I couldn’t bear to be the one to come between you” she hugged him, “I have to go.”

“I wish you’d stay with me. I love you Livvie” he whispered taking a long whiff of her hair. Fear gnawed at his belly that he may not have this opportunity for a long time.

“I love you too” she muttered into his sturdy chest then leaned up to kiss his cheek once more. Fitz watched as she begrudgingly climbed into the waiting car and it whisked her away.

X-X

            Fitz sat on the couch running his hands through his hair and sipping his coffee. Heather and Ellie were sitting in front of the Christmas tree preparing to open their gifts.

“Where is Olivia?” Heather asked regarding Fitz closely.

“She left” his voice sounded hollow, “She had to go home and cook dinner for her parents.”

“Gee, I hope it wasn’t on my account” Ellie sneered, “You two seemed to be thoroughly enjoying your holiday.”

            Fitz started to speak then stopped.  Heather studied him for a moment trying to appraise the situation. He took another drink of his coffee and seemed to be staring into space, preoccupied with something.

“Here Dad, this one is for you” Heather said softly, bringing a gift to Fitz. He smiled wearily and thanked her then turned his attention to opening the gift.

            They took turns opening gifts, Heather and Ellie laughing together in front of the tree. Fitz knew he should be happy and fulfilled but something was missing. Finally, the girls were left with one gift each, a small box from Olivia. Heather moved to sit next to Fitz as she opened the gift. He watched her pull the impeccable bow from the box and tear the shiny red paper.  She opened the box, gasping quietly when she saw the David Yurman bracelet inside.

“Pretty” said Fitz over Heather’s shoulder.

“I love it,” Heather said, “She shouldn’t have.”

“If you think it’s too much I’m sure she’ll take it back” Fitz smiled but Heather quickly cut him off.

“No, no, I love it, it’s perfect” she beamed as she removed the bracelet from the box to take a closer look. It was a white gold cuff bracelet with diamond accents. She slid it on and held it at a distance to marvel at it.

“It’s beautiful” Fitz couldn’t help but smile thinking about Olivia stressing over what to buy his daughters. He wasn’t the least bit surprised that she had chosen something that they both very obviously loved, “Let me see yours El.”

            Ellie leaned towards Fitz, turning her wrist over to show him the bracelet. Hers was similar to Heathers except for being a mix of yellow and white gold, “It’s beautiful” she whispered reluctantly, “I can’t wait to show Sarah” she added in reference to her best friend, “She asked her Mom for a Yurman for Christmas but there is no way she got this one. Do you know how much this thing costs Dad?”

“I don’t and I really don’t want to know” Fitz admitted, “I think maybe Olivia went a little overboard.”

“Hey, if she wants to buy my admiration, I’m all for it” Ellie beamed, “You should tell her about the car I want maybe she’ll buy me that too.”

“Don’t be a brat” Heather said, “Olivia was just trying to be nice. I’m sure it’s not easy to buy gifts for people that you barely know.”

“I guess she figured she couldn’t go wrong with three thousand dollar bracelets” Ellie sang, rising to her feet and moving towards the stairs, “Are we having Christmas dinner with Liv?”

            Fitz looked slightly stunned, Heather appeared mostly irritated. Fitz took a deep breath and another drink of coffee, “Originally we were supposed to go to Olivia’s but she thought I needed some alone time with you girls.”

“I’d love to see her and thank her” Ellie said, “My friends are going to be so jealous. I wholly approve of the fact that Olivia doesn’t subscribe to your idea that Heather and I shouldn’t be spoiled.” Then she ran up the stairs to her bedroom. Fitz heard the door closed and turned to Heather.

“What was that?” he asked, confused.

“That was your daughter the spoiled brat” Heather rolled her eyes.

“Was she serious about how much those bracelets cost?” his brow was wrinkled with concern, “I think that’s too much to spend.”

“Do you really believe that she’ll take them back?” Heather smiled at her father, “She loves you and she just wants us to like her. I don’t think she was trying to buy our approval.”

“But your sister does” his hands found his hair again, “I don’t want Ellie thinking that she can be mean to Olivia and then get lavish gifts.”

“Maybe the bracelet will tide her over until she can really get to know Olivia” Heather suggested, “She needs something to get her past her anger.”

“I was thinking something more along the lines of meeting with a therapist” he said, “Olivia has a great guy she sees, do you think you two would like to go talk to him?”

“I’m game” she agreed, “I’ll ask Ellie.”

X-X

“Olivia, what’s the matter?” Victoria probed as she approached Olivia who was standing at the stove, “You seem quiet. Did something happen with Fitz?”

“Not exactly” Olivia murmured.

“What wrong?” Victoria was concerned about her daughter.

“Ellie doesn’t want us together” admitted Olivia, “Breakfast this morning was painful.”

“She’ll come around” her mother assured, “She just needs to get used to the idea and get to know you better.”

            Their conversation was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Victoria reached to answer and spoke briefly with the person on the other end.

“You’re just answering my phone now?” Olivia glanced in her direction.

“Your hands were full,” Victoria explained, “Nothing important.”

“Well who was it?” Olivia pressed.

“It was Aunt Callie, she called to say Merry Christmas” Olivia noticed a blush in her mother’s cheeks as she turned to peel potatoes at the sink, “Why don’t you go get your shower and get dressed for dinner” Victoria suggested, “I’ll put these in and then we should be about finished preparing dinner.”

            Olivia checked her watch; it was still almost two hours until the few other guests she had invited were expected to arrive. She looked at her mother questioningly but untied the apron she wore and headed in the direction of her bedroom. She showered and dressed in a short black skirt and red fitted sweater. She slid her feet into her heels and finished her hair and makeup. She glanced at her phone hoping to see at least a text from Fitz but was disappointed to find none. She laughed lightly at herself, she had told him to concentrate on Heather and Ellie and now here she was several hours later upset when he hadn’t texted her. She opened the photos on her phone and smiled at the picture of her with Fitz she had taken several days before. Checking herself one final time in the mirror, she took her phone and walked downstairs to rejoin her parents.

“You look beautiful Sweetheart” Eric smiled when Olivia walked through the family room.

“Thanks Dad” she returned his grin then leaned down to kiss his cheek, “Merry Christmas”

“Merry Christmas” he kissed her cheek, “Dinner smells wonderful.”

            Olivia rejoined her mother in the kitchen. Preparations seemed to be under control so they moved back to the family room.

“Do you want to talk more about what’s happening with Fitz?” her mother asked.

“Is something wrong with Fitz?” her father’s eyes shot to her, “Did he do something?”

“No Dad,” Olivia patted Eric’s hand, “Ellie is just having a tough time getting used to the idea of Fitz and I dating and her parents getting divorced.”

“Put yourself in her shoes” Eric reasoned, “I certainly don’t know the whole story but it can’t be easy to have your parents divorcing. When you add in a new relationship that just makes it that much harder.”

“I know” Olivia looked down at her hands, “It’s hard for everyone. I told Fitz he needed to spend some time with just Ellie and Heather.”

“You miss him” her mother whispered.

“Which is ridiculous after only a few hours” Olivia was irritated with herself, “It’s juvenile, unfocused, it’s not who I am.”

            Victoria pulled Olivia into a hug, “You two have been through quite a bit. I think that bonds people and…”

            Olivia looked at her questioningly as her voice trailed off, “and what?”

“It’s obvious you care a lot about him” her mother’s voice was soft, “I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Well, I….” Olivia paused, considering how to put what she felt into words. She began to speak but the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it, you ladies keep talking” Eric started to get up from the couch.

“No” Victoria said, almost alarmed, “It’s Olivia’s house we should let her open the door.”

            Olivia looked at her mother with a slight frown, “Oh….kay….” she stood, “If it’s that important that I let Aunt Callie in….”

            She pulled the door open and turned back into the house without seeing who was on the other side.

“Do you have room at your table for three more?” every muscle in her body tensed. She felt tears prick at her eyes and an electricity travel up her spine. She turned; unable to speak she just wore a goofy smile.

“Hi Liv” Heather smiled. She and Ellie stepped past Olivia and into the house. Fitz stood on the doorstep looking into Olivia’s eyes.

“Hi Gorgeous” his smile melted any resolve she had to make him leave.

“Hi” she managed to choke out.

“Can I come in?” he reached for her hand, still wearing a crooked grin. She noticed his brow knit with a measure of uncertainty.

“What are you doing here?” her voice was a mere whisper, “I thought you were spending time with Ellie and Heather.”

“It was Ellie’s idea to come” he replied, “I think maybe we have a plan to help all of us work through this and you and I can still spend time together.”

“I’d love to hear it” she felt shy and anxious. She wasn’t sure if she should touch him but all she wanted was to feel his arms around her and his lips on hers.

“Can I come in first?” he laughed, noticing her discomfort.

“Of course” she blushed and stepped aside. He moved past her allowing his hip to graze against hers. She closed the door but stayed rooted in place. Fitz looked in the direction of the family room. He could see that they were out of sight of everyone. He leaned in close to Olivia, his lips touching her neck where it met her shoulder.

“I missed your sweet smell” he murmured, “and your soft skin.”

“I just saw you this morning, Fitz” she breathed. His lips meandered towards her jaw.

“I still missed it” he returned, “This morning I thought it would be days….weeks before I got to touch you, before I got to taste you again.” He gave her neck a light bite causing her to giggle.

“So what’s your plan? What are we allowed to do?” she asked quietly against his ear. Her eyes closed as she concentrated on the sensation of his mouth on her skin.

“Kiss me then we’ll talk about it” he rumbled before joining his lips with hers. She wanted to cry at the sensation of their mouths being connected again. The heat that rose within her was unrivaled by anything she had felt before. Her hands found his curls, his moving to the back of her neck. He moved them in the direction of the closest wall, knocking into a large vase in the process. They paused long enough to ensure they hadn’t broken anything and to chuckle at their urgency. When their eyes met again the world disappeared and Olivia felt her back contact the wall. His weight pressed her into the wall and she pulled his mouth harder and harder against hers. Fitz felt like he couldn’t kiss her deeply enough, he wanted more contact with her. He wanted to erase any doubts she had and reassure her of the depth of what they shared. He moved his hand to touch the crest of her hip and felt her press her hips into him. As much as they both wanted to continue, they knew it wouldn’t be long until someone came looking for them. Fitz pulled back tentatively, “I missed those kisses”

“Me too” she smiled sweetly, “So, are you going to tell me about your plan?”

“Let’s go join the others and we’ll talk about it” he took her hand and led her into the family room. She felt her heart rate increase when Ellie looked in their direction. She waited for the disapproving look or the glare she had received earlier but there was none.

“Olivia, the girls were just showing us their bracelets” Victoria smiled towards Ellie and Heather, “They’re very pretty.”

“Thank you so much” Heather came over to hug Olivia, “It is really beautiful. It’s way too much.”

“I wasn’t sure what to get you” Olivia explained, “I know David’s jewelry is popular so I figured I’d give it a shot and if you didn’t like them you could return them.”

“No, they’re awesome” Ellie enthused, “Thank you so much” she hugged Olivia tightly, “My friends are going to be so jealous. This is like the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten. You know, since Daddy didn’t buy me the car I wanted.” She looked sideways at Fitz.

“I told you no car” Fitz said firmly, “You don’t need one and even if you did get one it wouldn’t be the one you asked for.”

“Maybe you can talk to him for me Liv” she smiled and hugged Olivia again. Olivia just smiled.

            Fitz could sense Olivia’s discomfort and tried to change the subject, “Dinner smells wonderful. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I just need to go check on things” Olivia offered, “you can come with me if you’d like.”

            Fitz walked behind Olivia watching her move in the skirt she wore. He wondered how it was possible for someone to turn him on so much when fully clothed and not touching him. Olivia stopped in front of the stove and he moved in close behind her. He slid his palms down the front of her thighs pulling her torso back against him.

“Don’t distract the cook” she breathed feeling his fingers brush her hair from the back of her neck.

“Can I kiss the cook?” his lips tasted her shoulder again, “She smells more delicious than the food.”

“Why don’t you tell the cook about your plan to make this situation work” Olivia suggested.

            Fitz kissed her one final time on the neck then moved to sit on one of the stools at the counter, “It’s simple, really. I suggested that the girls and I go see Dr. Block. I think he could help us work through this because he knows everyone involved in our situation. He knows what you’re dealing with and he knows my struggles. He’ll get to know the girls’ concerns.”

“And they agreed to this?” she walked over to where he sat and sat on the stool next to him, “Is that why Ellie is suddenly being so nice to me?”

“They both agreed to give counseling a try” Fitz affirmed, “but Ellie is being so nice because you bought her an expensive bracelet for Christmas. I think she’s under the impression that you are trying to buy her love.”

“I’m not” Olivia replied taken aback, “You know I’m…”

“Livvie, I know” Fitz reassured her, “I know you just bought them gifts you thought they’d like. They’re just not used to things like that. Megan and I always tried hard not to spoil them. It’s so easy when money isn’t an issue at all and so many of their friends get everything they ask for. We didn’t want the girls to feel entitled.”

“I’m sorry” she looked down at her hands, picking at her nail polish, “I should have asked…”

“No, they love the bracelets” Fitz insisted, “Ellie has wanted one for a while now. I thought about getting her one for Christmas but I feel like I’m terrible at picking out jewelry. I figured for her birthday I would take her and let her pick out her own.”

“And I ruined it…” Olivia frowned.

“No you didn’t” he turned her to face him and tilted her chin so their eyes met, “She loves the bracelet. I’m so happy that you bought it for her. Now we just need to make sure that isn’t her expectation. It was a very thoughtful gift.”

            He kissed her softly on the lips, “I love that you cared so much what you bought my girls.”

“I just want everyone to be happy. You’re so important to me, which means Ellie and Heather are important to me. I know it’s going to be a process but I want your relationship with them to stay as close as it always has been. I don’t want to come between you.”

“We’ll be fine. I apologized for being so abrupt with Ellie. I explained that I meant what I said about being with you but that I don’t want my relationship with them to suffer. We are actually planning some Dad –daughter days. I promised Ellie she could be my date for the Golden Globes. I hope you don’t mind.”

            Olivia ran her thumb over his lips then brought her hands to his cheeks, “You’re incredible”

“I just figured since you and I aren’t really public yet…”

“I get it” she continued to smile and placed a tiny kiss on his lips.

“Should we start taking the food into the dining room?” he asked.

“No, I need another minute”

            His hands pulled her hips toward him until they were separated by mere centimeters. Their noses were nearly touching as they stared into one another’s eyes. They sat, breathing together for minutes, neither wanting to break the contact. Their hands stroked each other’s face and their fingers played in the other’s hair. Finally Olivia touched her lips to Fitz’s lightly. His tongue traced the seam of her lips. She pulled his tongue into her mouth relishing the taste of him. Though the kiss was deep and filled with passion it was leisurely and sweet.

“I love you” he whispered against her ear.

“Let’s get the food to the dining room” she moved to begin taking the serving dishes into the other room. Victoria, Ellie, and Heather helped them serve the food as well. When everything had been served Olivia walked back into the kitchen. Fitz followed closely behind her.

“Livvie?”

“Yeah?” she turned to face him.

            He slid his arms around her before continuing, “Why didn’t you say it back?”

“Say what back?” she looked confused.

“When I said I love you, you didn’t…” he frowned slightly.

            Olivia reached her palm to touch his cheek, “It’s overwhelming. To hear you say it, to say it to you. This entire situation is a little scary.”

“Oh…”

            Olivia locked eyes with Fitz, “I love you. I love you. I love you” she smiled brightly, “Those words mean so much to me, when I say them and when I hear them. I don’t ever want those words to sound ordinary to you because my love for you could never be ordinary.”

            Fitz wiped at the tear that escaped down his cheek, “You’re anything but ordinary Livvie. And if you don’t mind I’ll tell you every time I have the chance that I love you.”

            They shared one more brief kiss then Olivia picked up a bottle of wine and they walked hand in hand into the dining room. As they sat at the table listening to Eric say the blessing Olivia and Fitz looked around at their blessings. Olivia was thankful to be surrounded by wonderful family and to share the day with the man she loved and his daughters. Fitz was thankful to have been welcomed into the Pope household so warmly and to have the three most important women in his life together for Christmas dinner. He squeezed Olivia’s hand and she laced her fingers with his. He leaned close to her and whispered, “Best Christmas ever.”

“Best Christmas ever” she replied.  

“And I haven’t even given you your gift yet” his eyes sparkled.